I have a friend who taught in the county school system for 42 years. Through the years he has worked with his share of “at risk” students. One day I said to him, “Man, that must be tough.” His response surprised me. He said, “Not really. You just have to show them that you care about them.” “Well,” I asked him, “how do you do that?”
Early in the relationship, he told me, always try to focus on the good things they can do. If they misbehave, always go over the good things first before addressing the problem behavior. This will show them that you care enough to pay attention to them and notice the good things. But this has to be repeated and reinforced on a daily basis. Sometimes they will revert back to old habits and behaviors. Stay the course and no matter what happens don’t quit on them.
I thought about this strategy for awhile. All of a sudden I realized that I had seen this strategy in action – with all of the best coaches I had played for and coached with. There was one man in particular, one of the old-timers: Dick “The Silver Fox” Redding, a mentor of mine when I coached at the University of Kentucky.
His nickname came from his wavy mane of silver hair and his ability to handle young people. His trademark was a “wink and a smile,” especially when things weren’t going well for someone. Fox also had a way with words. I heard someone say once that Fox could tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the trip.
Fox also coached at my alma mater, Virginia Tech, and at the University of Maryland. Frank Beamer, the longtime Virginia Tech head coach, played for Fox at Virginia Tech and also coached with him and Jerry Claiborne at UMD. Of Fox, Beamer said: “He calmed a lot of people down…Back then they were bringing about 60 guys on scholarship [at Tech] and a lot of people were leaving, and he was the guy that could sit down and talk to you and convince you to stay. A lot of people think a lot of Coach Redding. He’s someone Coach Claiborne depended on a lot and trusted a lot. When things were real tough, you’d look at him and he’d have a smile on his face and help you get through it.”[i]
Fox was our recruiting coordinator, and that meant he had to do a job that no one wanted and he himself hated: cut players from the program. I watched him tell many players the tough news that they were no longer part of the team.
He would start out telling them how proud he was of them, thanking them for all the effort they had put into making the team and so on. When he got to the bad news, which he always delivered with his trademark wink and a smile, the player would often thank Fox and give him a hug.
Fox’s career in coaching major college football would span 4 decades. Every year his former players, young and old alike, would come to our campus to visit him and thank him for being such a great coach. He was a great role model for anyone who wants to be a coach or teacher, or just wants to provide a little encouragement to the young people in their lives.
Have a great weekend,
Ro
[i] Berman, Mark. “”Longtime Tech Coach Dies at 86″.” Roanoke Times 30 August 2004. From www.roanoke.com. Accessed 06 September 2012.
Great story on a great man, I really enjoyed Coach Redding, he was one of a kind. I think its the people you surround yourself with that will define you as a Coach. Coach Redding always had Grad. asst. coaches teaching and coaching what J Claiborne “the Hawk” had installed in them.
I really liked your reference to the number of players brought in each year, just one mistake, players weren’t ask to leave, the practices were long, hard, live, and so many did not make it. The first thing players KNEW in practice, even if you were 4th string, if you had a great week of practice making the Coaches notice you, you would start on saturday. I doult that is possible today.”Its hard ,but its fair”.