A buddy of mine whom I grew up with plays golf all the time and rarely pays for a round. In fact, when I play with him I am frequently given a free round as well. My friend is not incredibly wealthy or powerful. So how does he do it, you ask? He speaks their language. He listens intently to what they are saying and uses his great recall to bring up topics that he knows will interest them. With each visit, he gets closer to them, almost like family. And you know no one likes to charge family for a round of golf.
I recently had a big showing with an international investor at a building which I was marketing for sale. The gentleman spoke limited English and I did not speak his language at all. To make matters worse, his bilingual partner was running late for the tour. While I started showing the investor around the building, I tried a few of my usual “getting to know a prospective client” questions.
“How’s business going – good?” I asked him.
“Yes,” he replied.
“I understand that you own several hotels.”
“Yes.”
Each question received only a nod or one-word answer in response. It was a large building, and seemed even larger as I struggled to connect with this gentleman. Finally his partner called – to say that he was running an additional 15 minutes late. I wasn’t sure I could face another 15 minutes of awkward attempts at conversation. Even worse, I could tell that my questions, instead of bringing us closer together, were pushing us farther apart. This is the last thing any broker wants with a prospective client.
Suddenly it hit me that I had done a lot of transactions with people from this investor’s home country over the years and I remembered from those dealings how much individuals from his country valued their family and, especially, their children. So I went for broke and asked him if he had any children.
His demeanor changed immediately and he answered with the most enthusiastic “Yes” I had heard from him all day. He was about my age, so I asked him what schools they had attended. It turns out both of his children had graduated from U.S. universities, one from the same school my daughter attended. All of a sudden we were two proud fathers bragging away about our children’s academic achievements.
This client and I didn’t get any better at speaking each others’ native languages. But we found a way to connect on a personal level. That connection happened primarily because I paid attention – both to his unenthusiastic reactions to my business questions and to my previous interactions with people from his country. It does take work, but the more you can find common ground with a potential client, new boss or even the guys at the local golf course, the more likely you are to develop meaningful, productive relationships with those people.
Have a great weekend,
Ro