It’s been a rough couple years for many of us, but I am pleased to find that things are finally picking up in my business and I hope they are picking up for you, as well. But I’ve been frustrated lately by a tendency of mine: whenever I start thinking about how good things are finally going or how this year has the potential to turn into a great year for me, I find that my mind counters by reminding me of all the things which could go wrong and turn my potentially great year into a disaster.
Recently I was talking with my daughter Grace about all of the transactions I was working on. Sure enough, I quickly started to drift into the negative, focusing on what might happen if these deals fell apart. She looked at me and said, “Dad, sometimes you’ve got to dare to dream. You’re spending so much time focusing on what would happen if everything went wrong. But I want to challenge you to look at it a different way: imagine what would happen if everything went right.”
As I thought about what she had suggested, I suddenly began to feel a renewed sensation of hope and confidence regarding the possibilities for these deals. I then allowed myself to visualize step-by-step how these deals could turn into wins, in the same way I had previously visualized them turning into losses. I played the scenarios all the way through in my head, right down to the end of every transaction, and imagined them all going exactly the way I want them to go.
This is one of the key techniques from the legendary self-help book Psycho-Cybernetics. The idea is that if you visualize yourself having success at certain tasks or achieving certain goals before you actually try them, you will be more likely to realize that success. Many athletes use this when preparing for different games or events. My daughter told me she first tried it while waiting to audition for an elite choral group in high school.
I believe the primary reason why this technique is so successful is that it helps you remove the negative thoughts by giving your mind something else to focus on. It is more than just trying not to think in a negative way; it is actively trying to focus on positive thoughts and positive results. When we focus on the negative thoughts they limit our confidence and crush our dreams, making it very difficult to move forward in trying to achieve our goals. There’s a saying about this in business: “Over-analysis equals paralysis.”
Daring to dream can be a scary proposition. If you open yourself up to the possibility of success, you also leave yourself open to the possibility of failure. Many people think it is better to focus on the negative because that way they are prepared if the worst happens and if something good happens, it is a pleasant surprise.
The problem with this idea is that the attitudes you take towards things in your life directly impact how you approach and interact with those things. If you approach all of your deals with an “it will never happen” attitude, you will be more likely to pass up on potential opportunities to make those deals happen. You won’t be as motivated to put extra work into a deal.
Next time you catch yourself focusing only on the negative, change your focus and let yourself dare to dream. I can’t promise you things will work out exactly the way you dream they will, but I can say with the confidence derived from personal experience that your odds of success go up when you go into the game believing that you have a chance to win.
Have a great weekend,
Ro