Everybody knows the Golden Rule: “treat others how you would like to be treated.” But because it is so familiar, we tend to gloss over it or ignore it. It loses its impact because we have heard it time and time again.
People think it is easy to follow this rule, but I don’t agree. All of us look at the world through our own slanted points of view. We rarely take time to consider other perspectives, and so again and again we fail at treating other people the way we would want to be treated because we only focus on what is best for ourselves.
How many times has someone done something that made you upset, like cutting you off in traffic? You scream and yell and honk your horn to show them how angry you are. Yet barely five minutes later, you cut off another driver while trying to make your exit. I was just trying to get to where I needed to go,” you justify it to yourself. “If that person had just let me in when I put on my blinker I wouldn’t have had to cut them off!” Funny how that justification never occurs to us when someone else does it to us.
I call this the “boomerang” principle – that when someone does something to us that is wrong or upsetting, we turn around and do it to someone else. It’s a natural instinct, but it often damages relationships. You may never see the driver you cut off again – but what about when your boss embarrasses you in a meeting and you turn around and put down one of your co-workers’ ideas? What happens to your relationship with your partner when you come home from a frustrating day at the office and start taking it out on them? Very little good comes of treating others as badly as we were just treated.
To fix this, we really have to focus on the Golden Rule. Start by learning to forgive (another difficult task, but very worth the effort) and move on from negative experiences. Show more patience and understanding to others. Try putting yourself in their shoes, and remind yourself often that you don’t know what is going on in their life. When you are interacting with other people, focus on the present interaction and try not to let other things that have happened throughout your day shape it. Finally, remember that we are all only here for a short while. Take one day at a time and try to remember that each one is a blessing.
If you focus on these things, I can almost guarantee you will find yourself living life at a much more peaceful and relaxed pace.
Have a great weekend,
Ro