I hit a big milestone in my life this week – celebrating my 60th birthday. Naturally, I became a bit introspective as I looked back and evaluated my 60 years of life.
My first thought was how grateful I am for being born into the family I was and having the parents that I did. Later I was blessed in my adult years with my beautiful wife, who never stopped believing in me, and our wonderful daughter Grace. I grew up in this wonderful state and country, and although my family was not rich by any stretch I received numerous opportunities through playing sports which allowed me to go places and do things I never would have dreamed of otherwise.
In sports I played with and coached Hall of Fame players. I learned under some legendary coaches, and had the privilege of working with some of the finest people I’ve ever met. In the business world, I am grateful to all of the mentors, clients and associates who were so important in my career. A special debt of gratitude is also owed to my Uncle Jack, who took a chance on me that blossomed into an entire second career after I left coaching.
I would like to tell you that my 60 years were all “seashells and balloons”, with nothing but blue skies and smooth sailing. But the truth is there were many peaks and valleys along the way. As much as I disliked the experiences at the time, I can say with total honesty that I learned more from the valleys than I did from the peaks. It is from these experiences that I offer you the lessons I’ve learned below:
- Life is not fair.
- Life owes you nothing, and expecting that it does won’t change anything.
- The true achievement is rising up every time you fall (and you will fall sometimes).
- Nothing lasts forever, good or bad. When you hit the bad times keep on grinding. Something will change; it always does.
- Never give up.
- Live every day like it’s your last because one day you will be right.
- If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.
- Don’t spend time worrying about what others think of you.
- Be true to yourself and your beliefs. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
- Don’t worry so much about the future that it takes away from enjoying the present.
Finally, if you have kids, don’t be afraid to tell them the truth. The world can be a tough, cruel place and being honest with them from the beginning will help prepare them for the valleys they will inevitably encounter down the line. I learned this early on from my mom. When I was 12 years old, the football team I was playing on had a game against a team with much bigger and older boys on it. I shared my fears and insecurities about facing this daunting task with my mom. I have never forgotten her words: “Ronayne, football is a tough game. Maybe you’re not tough enough to play it.” It might seem like a harsh thing to say, but it was the truth. I thought long and hard about whether I really was going to be tough enough for this game, and ultimately decided that I was. I love you, Mom, and thank you for that very valuable lesson.
My daughter threw a small family birthday party for my wife and I earlier in the month (my wife also turned 60 this year), and it really put some things in perspective for me. “Everything I need to be happy is right here in this room,” I told the gathering at the end of the night. If there is one insight at 60 which I am most grateful for, it’s this one. Money, fame, success, stuff – all of that is fleeting. But the love of family and friends has sustained me through 60 years, and hopefully will for many more.
Have a great weekend,
Ro