Why is it that so often in our lives we make our happiness and well-being contingent upon accomplishing certain milestones?
“When we’re eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!” From that day on we will all live happily ever after.
We live life like we’re on a train, forever heading towards that elusive next goal that will bring us happiness. We crane our heads to see around the next bend in the tracks, waiting to reach the station where at last we will be content.
One thing I can tell you for sure is that if you make your happiness contingent on a specific event or achievement, you will find it very difficult to hold onto that happiness. The goals you work toward may make you happy for awhile, but the glow of achieving them will fade. There will always be another goal to chase, which means that eventually you will fall short. As I learned the hard way while coaching and playing college football, there is always going to be someone better than you, no matter how good you may be.
The same is true if we make our happiness contingent on another person. We will always be let down, eventually. Even if that person is wonderful, how many people can really live up to being the primary source of another’s happiness? It’s not even fair of us to ask them to try.
We are the ones who determine our own happiness. We cannot always change our circumstances, or make events happen the way we want them to. But we can always change our attitudes. The choice is a powerful one, but it is ultimately up to each of us individually to make it.
I’ve been trying to live this way lately, and I have been amazed at the results. Sometimes I just make a conscious choice to have a positive attitude about my life. There’s no specific reason for the attitude adjustment; I just do it. Interestingly enough, the more positive my outlook, the happier and more productive I become in my everyday life. And with a positive attitude, I have found that more people want to be around me and work with me. People are drawn to positive attitudes.
When I consciously alter my attitude, I don’t change my current circumstances. The things I struggle with are still there; the things I worry about still concern me. But a positive attitude helps me deal with all of those things in a much healthier way.
The best way I’ve found to achieve happiness is to live in the moment and stop living life on the contingency plan. Don’t waste a second – life is too short. Choose to be happy now.
Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The station is an illusion–it constantly outdistances us. Yesterday’s a memory, tomorrow’s a dream. Yesterday belongs to history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday’s a fading sunset, tomorrow’s a faint sunrise. Only today is there light enough to love and live.
-excerpted from “The Station” by Robert Hastings
Have a great weekend,
Ro