When I was a young man in my teens trying to find myself I hung out with the wrong crowd. I didn’t see why it was a problem because I was too caught up in how exciting and entertaining these kids were. After a while it seemed like my life was a circus – lots of fun rides, games, new things to see and do and even a few clowns to make me laugh. Our little group’s motto was: “Everyday is a Saturday.”
My mother would plead with me to quit going into those neighborhoods and hanging out with that crowd. I would always protest, “But Mom, these are my friends!” She responded that friends or not, if I kept hanging out with them they were going to take me down the same path they were headed and it was not going to end well.
My poor judgment continued and my grades plummeted, to the point where it was questionable whether I would get to realize my dream of playing college football. My high school football coach, Marv Garlick, sat me down and explained that I was good enough to play in college, but if I couldn’t get my grades up that wasn’t going to matter. I had to get in to be able to play. If it hadn’t been for Marv taking an interest in me and helping me see the light in terms of my academic progress, I’m not sure I would have graduated from high school.
The quote in the title comes from a friend of mine, Donovan Simpson. He’s from a tough neighborhood and worked his way up through education and now has a good job at a large government agency. He wrote about the clowns in his life in a Facebook post and mentioned the importance of being loyal to people but also being strong enough to move on when it becomes necessary.
I struggled to make that distinction in high school. The group I hung out with in many ways defined who I was during that period, and it was extremely hard to turn away from them. But thanks to my coach I realized I had bigger goals. Suddenly the “circus” that my life had become didn’t seem so fun anymore, and it was a lot easier to let go of the “friends” I had so staunchly defended to my mom.
Whenever you get to the point where you feel like your life is a circus and you want to make a change, the first step is to lose the clowns.
Have a great weekend,
Ro